The Watery Grave ,Peeks for Peeps into Madness, Addiction & Love

Sometimes, a grave in not for bodies. It can also be for the soul. The tomb of our fate. That forbidding fateful soul contract. All my life I have had weighty concerns about finances. I had too much or not enough. My first memory of money is taking 20.00 dollars from my fathers cash box that he kept under his bed when he had a business.  I was 9. Dad had sporting goods store in Stephenville. “Hancock’s Sport Shop.” At the time , it looked like we had it all. We were living on credit and the bank but hey we had a business so other people perceptions were what Dad lead them to believe. That 20.00 dollars I took for who knows what reason, was a large amount at the time. I remember going to McClellan’s store and buying candy. I bought so much I could not keep it all so I gave it all away. Easy come, easy go. This is a tough chapter. Not because I do not want to talk about it but because it has so many threads. DEBT, YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE FINANCIAL DEBT IF YOU ARE IN ENERGIC DEBT. I first heard these words from Shankari , a very wise women, whom I met when I was studying with Doreen Virtue . I was on my second visit to Bali. Shankari , was finishing her book and I had the privilege of being with her as she read these words. I have never forgotten them. In 1977, John was on Chemo and we were raising two beautiful beings of light . Usually when we purchased groceries we were together but this Friday evening he had his chemo treatment so I was alone. I returned home with a 71.00 dollar food receipt. He was shocked. He sat down on the dining room chair and said ,”there is a mistake, this bill is so high, they made an error.” I watched him , bent over with his bald head from the treatments) add up every item. No ,there was no mistake. I was in trouble. How do I explain the amount and not have him worry. I made a deal with the shadow, never again would I tell him the truth about what things cost. I was working at the Bank of Nova Scotia at the time. There was babysitting , gas and food expenses. I started slashing expenses in half. If babysitting was 60.00 a month for two children , I told him it was 30.00. If the food was 100.00 for two weeks I told him it was 50.00. I did not want to worry him. He had enough on his plate, he was trying to survive. How did I hide it? I have the gold from never, never land, the almighty Charge It. That is what Visa was called in those days. Jesus, I had a rainbow, right here in my pocket. By the year 1979, I was in debt for