Travel Expands Us, Family & Friendships can be a trip into ourselves . The journey is filled with wonder and lessons
If we are able to travel we are indeed blessed. To those of you unable to travel due to expenses/illness and other reasons , make sure you travel through the internet. There are many ways to do so , Google Maps, Planet Google or Skype with those living in other countries. ( only if you know them). The latest trip that John and I are took to the Maritimes was refreshing, relaxing, revitalizing,reviving. regenerating.
We begin in Grand Falls visiting friends, Conard & Linda Toner. You will read about them in Madness , Addiction & Love . They are in the Love section. They became our friends in 1982 when we were transferred from Fredericton due to John’s work with the RCMP. We arrived with two young girls , Melanie & Amanda who were just 8 and 6 at the time. Connie and Linda had four children and they quickly became friends. In my heart of hearts I realize it was Linda who helped raise me in those four short years we lived there. She and Connie helped me appreciate that I was on the planet with a mission , I only had to go find it. Spending two days with them once again on this trip , my heart is warmed by the reality that true friends help bring out the best in us. They have always believed in me . They have the natural ability to bring out the best in all those they encounter. They are able to do this because they believe in themselves and their sacredness. Their religion is, ‘Love thy neighbour as thyself , help one another and you will find your freedom”.
I like to consider them our Soul Mates.
Our next stopover is Moncton. This holds a special place for us as our grandson Xavier lives in this quaint city with his father Drew. His mother , our daughter took her life in May , 2012. Xavier had just turned 5 in 2012, he is now 8.
John and I do not know him like we would like. He is shy around us and not sure of us as grandparents . I understand that . Our yearly trips to the Maritimes since Mel’s death has been for visit’s such as these. We want to connect . We do not put pressure on him. We allow the day to flow.
We had an interesting conversation about aging . We are in the mall purchasing new sneakers for him . John is paying and is patiently waiting in a long lineup . Xavier and I are sitting and waiting. He asks me if I wish I was younger , “No , I love the age I am now”. (60 in Nov. . ) . “But don’t you wish you could go back and change things”? “No Xavier” ,I reply, “for me it is very important to live each day and embrace every moment” . I have no regrets . . “Oh”, he says, “why not?” ”
Life is for the living Xavier. We live with our light and our sorrows. We live the best life we can each and every day. Because we do when we are older, we have no regrets. When you are my age you will only want to live your life with love and make each moment count. Like now , I am counting the moments with you my darling boy, I am making new memories.”
“How long have you been with Grandpa?” , he asks. “41 years”, my reply. “wow ,thats a long time . Do you wish it was different”? No ,my love if it was different we would not have you.
“Yes, you would , I would have had a different mother and father , but I’d still be here”. In that moment I know he is expansive,a soul living on our planet with many lessons to teach. I am humbled to be his granny.
I take his hand and we go meet grandpa. I am concerned that he has heard it is not a good thing to age . Perhaps he heard it from his mother, another grandmother or an older friend. I do not ask more questions as I do not want to alarm him or go where I should not. I have boundaries and I know that if he wants to talk more he will. I am hoping he will stay the night with us but during a late dinner he advise’s us he is ready to go home. He needs to be close to his Dad and I understand that also. When you loose a parent at so young an age, you want to be close to the remaining parent . Trust becomes your mantra, your soul contract, your wound.
I leave Moncton filled with his light and a longing for our daughter.
I had also found out that his Dad’s new girl friend is in the RCMP . Did Melanie know her before her death? Was she one of the reasons Melanie was in such despair May 30, 2012? The RCMP was one of Melanie’s dreams and as much as she tired and as many times applied the timing was not to be. She either passed the exam but not the physical , passed the physical but not the exam and in her final years she passed both but because she declared bankruptcy she had to wait for two years to reapply. Did the knowledge that her love was involved with someone in the RCMP , Did that drive her over the edge ? She had discussed it with her psychologist two days before her death. We were heartbroken but not angry . Somewhere deep below we understood. Why get angry , our child was dead, there was little use killing a relationship with our grandchild’s remanding parent.The lesson here is acceptance. Love without boundaries.
Our next stop is Halifax. We have good friends in this expansive place. . John grew up here but not happily so I do not know too much about this city . I am overwhelmed with the fact that everywhere you walk in Halifax, there is a chair or bench to sit on. EVERYWHERE. Who laid out the plans for Halifax? They are brilliant. Even through I know little of this gem of a city , I feel comfortable.
We are staying at friends we met in Flagler beach . Sherry & Clark .
Lilies are on the table in our honour and we are made to feel home immediately. Yoga on the beach is on our agenda as well as a belly full of laughter. The best fish I have ever eaten is made and served by Clark . Clark is a retired fireman and cooking is a great love second only to his bride Sherry and their children. We spend a full day in Lungenburg . We love the simplicity, the salt water, the good food in this town. Shopping is abundant but I am filled with everything a heart would need so we browse. Sherry spots an aqua hand bag we both adore and it buys her. I am overjoyed for her as I am aware she will get lots of wear out of that little number. We are blessed that her daughter is visiting , attending a hockey tournament for Sherry’s grandson. As I am meeting the family I am aware of the magic of good parenting tools . They are displayed between Sherry , her daughter and then between daughter and her children. It gives me hope for our future . The world is becoming a better place. Yes, the news tells us differently but families are evolving in the most harmonious , heavenly way . We only need to go out and find them. They do exist because God exists in our children.
Sunday , I am excited to visit friends we have known since 1974. Rose and Randy. John and Randy played ball in Halifax when they were kids. When they are together they are still kids. Playing golf, joking around , hanging out.
Rose and I spend hours reminiscing , discussing the meaning of life , the joy , the sorrow, the gladness, the badness. I am a night hawk when I am with her and cannot get enough of her presence. Life seems to expand, multiply, magnify amplify ,intensify. There is not much left to discuss so we sit and just be. We spend time with Kerry and Gloria and our time together is filled with gratitude. We do not say this to one another but the intensity of our friendship , comradeship is about completing , expanding one another. When I leave them I am filled with the wonder of who they are and I am proud to be a women . We hold up the vessel of respect for each other and drink freely, deeply. Our Holy Grail . Friendship .
Next Stop, Prince Edward Island
John’s Twin brother has a cottage. They purchased the land and built 35 yrs ago when they were stationed here with the RCMP. Yes, Both of the boys joined the RCMP in 1972. They are alike in many ways but as I observe them on this trip they have made many changes and being competitive against each other has left them . They have lived many years apart and developed who they are as individuals.
Both have the athlete archetype and this is what keeps them fit. They both look after their health and what they are eating. John had cancer 36 yrs ago and this opened him up to alternative living.
I am given the gift of meeting my brother in law’s grandchildren.There is a set of triplet,3 boys and a year later a daughter. Ages are 8 and 7. The cycle of life is spinning around me as I watch the triplets and their sister. The three boys resemble my husband and his brother. Our great neice has the humour of her great uncle and grand father. ( she is so funny ).
I wonder how John was as a child. I know he was shy and sensitive and I see this in one of the three triplets.
I have a deeper respect for John and his ability to forgive, to release and to love. The love for his brother is deep as an ocean and wider than any sky. It is a love I am a witness to. Only a witness and I am in gratitude .
This love is private , between them and it is whole, holy.
Time does not wait for any of us. She is a thief, a warrior, a friend, adversary, and we still soldier on. She can also be kind , gentle and generous. Most of all she is in CHARGE.. No one escapes her. Soon these children will be watching their grandchildren and we will be a memory. Life continues. Seize the moment, Yes, “Let spirit have us.”
We leave PEI after seven glorious days . Those days feel like seven minutes as I write this.
Each journey, each trip is a spiritual experience if we reach in and pull it through.
It is about growing. Growing and touching the collective. Becoming one with source. The soul travels often, especially when we sleep but to be awake at all times during our waking moments is and can be a paradox. We are able to feel and see that all is an illusion yet everything has meaning. We do not need to live literally. We can look through the lens of symbolism . When we live this way, nothing is taken personally, all is forgiven, we are free.
Today if you are unable to travel remember there are more ways to go beyond the illusion of the earth plane. Go within and travel often. Travel far, go the distance with your lessons then let them GO.
“Just for today let the spirit of travel have you “