What in the name of all that is holy was I thinking?
When anyone asked was I OK, It was,” of course, why wouldn’t I be”?
I was involved with this and that in the town of Almonte, always trying to stay on top of things. I had to know what was going on. My brain was full, my belly empty, my soul tired.
I awoke in Jan,2014 with a voice in my head, ”Time to close the store, or it will close you down.”
Usually I do not fear this voice, but this day in January, I was frozen. I mentioned to John I needed to shut down by March. His reply, “Do you think you should close this fast”? I said, “I opened in three months, I will close in three months” Sure I knew people would talk, “what? She was only open for three yrs. “but I did not care. When was the last time someone, anyone lived my life.
March 15th arrived faster than a blossom in spring. I decided I was going out with a party, the same excitement and party as I had when we opened. Those who loved me, loved the store, they were the support. My landlord, who has since become a good friend, was very empathetic. Our accountant was behind us 100%. Diana and Maureen were true Goddess’s filled with grace.
I opened the White Lilly because the timing was right. I had discovered Goddess on the Go on an October trip to Bali, the eco friendly clothing line. Heritage court was just opening in Amonte, At the time there was no other clothing store in Almonte . Timing was everything. Not long afterwards other stores opened and I became very competitive. Something I do not like in myself and after Melanie’s death, I was not in the store much and make many mistakes.
One thing I know to be true. No one will ever take this away from me. I actually opened the White Lilly for two people I came to love dearly.
One was a woman by the name of Dana. Dana would come in daily, walk around, stay, chat and leave. She is about 72 yrs, a loner. We were always polite to her, allowed her to stay as long as she needed, would chat and she would be off. When she found out we were closing, she came to visit me one day. She was in tears. “What am I going to do now”, she asked. I did not understand, so I asked, “What do you mean”? She replied. “Your store is one of the reasons I get up each day. I have somewhere to go. You and your staff are always polite and you let me stay for as long as I need.” I was shocked, I had no idea.
We had an altar in the store, and I like to believe that lighting a candle and spraying holy water made a difference to the energy. I did not realize how much.
The other reason I opened the store was for a young man about 40yrs. who has autism. You will see him walking around Almonte each day, rain, sun or snow. He would come into the store to say hi and get his chocolate. I always kept candy on the counter for clients but in our last year of business it was always for him. When I was away, I would ask the staff to make sure there was something on the counter for our 3:00pm visitor. When he found out I was closing he came in one day, sat on a chair next to the counter and we chatted for the longest time. I came to find out he was brilliant. He loved to bowl and was more aware of all that is around him than I gave him credit for. He was a true Jewel.
The day I take my last breathe, I will have no regrets about the store. It has put us backwards in debt but the abundance I received can never be calculated. Knowing these two people has enriched my life beyond my humanness, but my soul knows. The answer to the question ,"What in the name of all that is holy was I thinking?" I wasn't , I was letting spirit have me.